C'mon kiddies gather round. Who's your foremost friend in town?
From main to maple the name resounds, Professor Nutbutter.
He's the one, the humble one, the Barkley County prodigal son.
Here to serve only you, Professor Nutbutter.
At old Nutbutter's house of treats from jellied jams to sacks of
sweets,
There's creamy and nutatious spreads for all.
Chemist, master of entomology the professor for a modest fee
Will cure what ails you, guaranteed Professor Nutbutter.
It's alright, don't fear the worm.
C'mon kiddies don't be shy be youthful til the day you die.
The man the myth, the magic of Professor Nutbutter.
He's the one the only one the Meeklybville prodigal son.
Here to help us with ourselves, Professor Nutbutter
It's alright to fear the worm.
[It's all right to fear the worm. The worm, the worm is our friend.
Um, but not all of the properties of the worm can be, uh, fully,
fully, well, appreciated by the, uh, the human body itself, but, um
it's, it's, it's, it's ok to, to fear the worm. Um, I, myself, have
had no, uh, problems with the worm but in a certain situation, uh, I
would feel like, what, what, uh, ramifications, um, could occur? Uh,
there's, there's really no need to, uh, to fear much of anything, you
know. Fear of the, fear of the temptation is a, more, probably, more,
more, appropriate word in this particular scenario. Um, the, uh,
well, It, depends on what you want, I suppose. It really depends on,
on what you want.]
Mrs. Blaileen - she was a sixth grade teacher
And she controlled the children
By using humiliation.
The target always seemed to be Donny.
He was a bit slower than the others.
When he was quite young
His mother died at the kitchen table
While choking on some food.
The fashion of the day
Was bleach and tied Levi's.
Donny decided to make some,
But he didn't know to rinse them.
So he came to school a reekin'.
Bleach stenched filled the classroom.
Mrs. Blaileen began to chastise.
She made him feel like an asshole
two feet small.
Oh what a lonely boy.
Don and Ronald
They always stuck together
For they were a bit different than the others
And they were as tight as brothers
Then Ronald moved away.
Now Steven
He was year or two younger
And he really thought he was something.
He liked to harass other children
Or anyone he found outnumbered.
Alone Don walks from fishing.
Steven and his friend they stop him.
They took his hat and they taunt him,
Pimp-slap him with a newspaper.
Don lunged forward with his fish knife
Then ran all the way home weeping.
He gave his knife to his father and
Said "I think I hurt Steve."
Oh what a lonely boy.
Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver and she shows it off to all her friends. One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her, So she caged him up with cyclone fence. Along came Lou with the old baboon And said "Recognize that smell?" "Smells like seven layers, That beaver eats Taco Bell." Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans And he travelled with the carnival shows. He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars And he candied up his nose. He got wind of the big brown beaver So he though he'd take himself a peek, But the beaver was quick And grabbed him by the kiwis. Now he ain't pissed for a week. (And a half!) Now Wynona took her big brown beaver, And she stuck him up in the air. Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver And I wish I did have a pair." Now the beaver onces slept for seven days And it gave us all an awful fright. So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch And the bastard tried to bite me. Wynona loved her big brown beaver And she stroked him all the time. She pricked her finger one day and it Occurred to her she might have a porcupine.
Quite a suprise What an ingenious device Boredom encompasses my time I don't know what I should do Indulging a moment of your time Seldom the breeder of lies But you won't believe that it's true They take to the sky Southbound Pachyderm Pinholes through cardboard At the Sun Passing the bucks by one by one Leaving nothing in return Watching the majest blow past Speculating which will be the last Savoring my piece of pie And there is no reprise They're filling the sky Southbound Pachyderm
[Instrumental]
In the year of our Lord Call it 1994 A fine vintage of mimicry There are those that take their sound From someone else's Toil Liking to parrots you see I've seen the likes of Kate Bush And Van Morrison Teaching the parrots to sing Take a Zepplin riff And you alter it a bit And make lots of money It's called plagiarism You want some of that cheese Just take a big ol' bite Careful not to choke on it please Now here we go It's called plagiarism
Questions deserving answers Answers deserving action What am I of the populi I am but a fraction Is there heaven? Is there Hell? Is that tuna melt I smell? Come on
He stood in line with the rest And waited got his chance To take his place behind the glass And watch the ladies dance It's the nature of things He stepped into the darkened space The air was thick and warm He drops the coins in one by one The scene unfolds before him He stands looking eye to thigh As she looks down from above Only to be recognized As his former love It's the nature of things
Del Davis sold a Christmas tree Stood up to 8 feet tall Season was lookin' mighty thin He'd hoped to sell 'em all Here he comes with a dollar in his hand Represents the epitomized man The boy liked rock 'n' roll Seemed that's the way he paid his way With the help of Del and them "Doogs" There's a bit more joy this holiday Here he comes...
Oh I can still remember Jenny Hernando She was my little lovely one When I was seventeen. I remember the day that she Gave me her viriginity And then she gave it to everyone In our vicinity. Oh I can still remember Julie Tolentino The dancing Filipino We used to run around. Her and Flouncin' Freddy Were going hot and steady. Now she runs a dyke bar, The biggest one in town. I can still remember my Old friend Todd Squelati I watching him snort a Milkshake right up his nose. He slurped it up the left side. Blew it out the right side. How he ever kept it down, I will never know. Of course I still remember Ol Flouncin' Freddy We were pumping gas Down at El Sobrante Shell His Mustang was his pride n' joy He liked to dance the cowboy, Hanging out at Jack In the Box But eat at Taco Bell.
Used to come around here To peddle his wares A lot more takers now The turkey "J" You can taste the air Around your face His name was Barrest Jeffries They picked him up twice For cooking up amphetamine Now he's on the tweek again Drinking county prune He doesn't mind so much So we'd sit around the fire Singing "Kumbaya" "Kumbaya" I said
They headed southward from San Francisco, To be with Chuckles and the others. With electric in the air and peroxide in their hair, They looked like golden brothers. They drove a Datsun, an automatic, The radio blaring static, He made a face into the light and burst out laughing at the sight. The hysteria ensuing would dominate the night. From all the candy, the seats were sticky, As they were drawn into the grapevine. Then "Introduce Yourself" came on as they barreled through the gog. The demon puffing madly on a mentholated log. They were tired, they were sleepy, So they parked behind the Roxy. Adam left to use the phone, so he sat there all alone, When Adam's voice come beaming through on the radio, He started laughing...
[Instrumental]
Lyrics for tracks 1-4,7,9-10, and 12 were typed in by Vijay Prabhakar (vp36@columbia.edu). Lyrics for tracks 6, 8, and 11 were typed in by Darren Jones (dajones4@vt.edu).